#78, 9/22 – Resident Evil: Extinction (2007) (tofw)

Be careful what you wish for and all that. Before I saw this I sent a text message to the friend I’d seen the first two movies with where I said, essentially, “I just hope it’s better than Ultraviolet was”.

I shouldn’t complain. It was better than Ultraviolet. But it turns out there’s quite a lot of surface area (like, about 386,100 square miles) between “better than Ultraviolet” and “barely satisfactory action movie”. Resident Evil:Extinction lives in that vast space. Which isn’t to say it sucked. Well, wait. No, that’s exactly what I’m saying. It was tired, tiring, and just silly filmmaking. No imagination. No entertainment. I can gawk at Milla and Ali Larter all day. But… I dunno. It just didn’t have any real life to it.

To me the most interesting moments came during the previews when I learned of other impending films. Somehow, for instance, I’d not known that they’d adapted the classic Hitman computer game franchise into a movie. Starring Timothy Oliphant. Oh, how every bone in my body is crying out that it’ll be awful, and yet I know full well that I’m going to see it. Probably in the theatres. Sad.

Sadder still, I’d not known that Marvel had finally gotten around to adapting Iron Man for the big screen. Or that Robert Downey Jr. was gonna play Tony Stark. As strangely inspired a piece of casting as I find that, I am… pretty sure I’ll be giving that one a pass. Well, I guess we’ll see how I feel next summer. I do like my junk from time to time, after all.

And last but not least, I was also surprised to learn (I really do not pay attention to film chatter—in case you haven’t noticed) that 30 Days of Night was also on its way to a theatre near me. I’m not sure what to think about that one, though I’m happy to see Melissa George is in it. Yeah. I’ll probably give it a try. Even though I’m sure I’ll regret it.

Why is it that I’m only seeing mainstream movies in the theatres these days, anyway?