#56, 6/23 – Ultraviolet (2006) (nqpdd)
Quite possibly the worst movie ever made.
Oh, right. I watch movies and write about them here.
#55, 6/22 – Underworld Evolution (2006) (nqpdd)
Hey wow, I’d completely forgotten that I’d seen District B-13 on the 3rd. Ha, and here I was thinking I’d been running the risk of going the month of June without having seen a single movie. Don’t cry for me, though.1 I’m having fun.
I’m enjoying the month-long celebration that is the World Cup immensely. This is my fourth and I think it may turn out to be my favorite yet. I shouldn’t jinx it, though. The first round was entertaining, but the knockout games need to have some flair, entertainment and drama or I’ll not be happy.
Plus, Deadwood has come out swinging in its final season. I’m going to miss that show. Relatedly, a friend of mine who works for Atlanta’s alternative newsweekly sent me a link to a recent piece they did about Deadwood which opens:
There’s a great story going around about the origins of HBO’s “Deadwood.” David Milch, one of the co-creators of “NYPD Blue,” took a meeting with HBO executives and pitched a show about Rome’s Praetorian Guard and the evolution of law and order at the time of Nero. The HBO guys said, “Actually, we’re more interested in a Western,” and supposedly Milch replied, “Doesn’t matter—it’s the same thing.”
How can I not love that?
There’s more goodness—including at least two books I expect to enjoy—on the horizon for me but it’s really all quite geeky. I’m just stopping in to declare myself not dead (self.dead = false), and to note that I watched a Beckinsale movie Thursday evening for fun.
For me it offered more Beckinsale than fun, but them’s the risks. Horrible-looking Milla movie tonight? Maybe so.
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1Well, OK, you can cry a little since my beloved US Men’s national team were shown the door in Nuremberg on the wrong end of a 2-1 with Ghana. Such is how it goes, you know? 0 wins, 1 draw, 2 loses. Not so hot. But I’ve been following these guys for twelve years and my expectations were not unduly set by the overenthusiastic talking heads on ESPN. (I’m looking your way, Wynalda). And, hey, frankly, we weren’t one of the 16 better performers there, we didn’t deserve the second round. So be it, and let’s hope our boys do better four years hence in South Africa.
#54, 6/3 – Banlieue 13 (2004) (tofw)
On some level, yes, I know The Transporter was stupid. But I also found it rather entertaining. The opening scene alone was worth my money, and then there’s the scene where… and the scene where… and let’s not forget the scene where…. Good stuff. I saw it in the theatre one Friday night with the gang in Atlanta and I did not regret. And although I think the film runs out of steam near the end, that didn’t stop me from watching the whole thing again one night on cable. Mistake me not though, I don’t love The Transporter or anything. I don’t want to have its children or own it on DVD. I don’t even want to take it out for a burger. But I enjoyed it.
I didn’t plan to see a movie today. But while I was sitting at my computer this morning I did my Saturday ritual of typing “showtimes” into Google to see what’s playing near me. I’d never heard of District B13 but after a little research I realized that the film promised 85 minutes of preposterous French action. Co-written by the former Mr. Milla Jovovich, Luc Besson. Like Transporter. My plans instantly changed to accomodate a trip to the theatre.
At the height of his powers—so, well before The Transporter, actually—Luc Besson gave us a trio of movies which are certainly among my favorite action films of all time. I can’t really say anything particularly insightful about them, there’s just something wonderful about Nikita, Léon, and The Fifth Element. Yeah, OK, in the case of the latter two, a substantial part of that “something” was a fellow by the name of Gary Oldman, but we’ve talked about that already. (I think if some enterprising TV guy had given Oldman a show and simply said to him “Your name is Frank, you grew up in a barn and like cheese” we would have been treated to the greatest television show ever.)
I got what I wanted. That is, I got unapologetic, preposterous French action. Preposterous French action now with extra special Parkour, at that. I most certainly do not regret. And the Parkour definitely helped: I can’t remember a more entertaining recent chase scene than the one at the start of the movie. Alas, like The Transporter, it doesn’t have enough personality to make it worth loving. It is a by-the-numbers exercise which depends on the athleticism of its stars to keep people interested.
Still, it’s some pretty nice athleticism.
[@Landmark Century Centre]